My husband Nathan and I were talking about what we think makes our marriage a happy marriage and we came up with a few things that we consider to be ‘keys” to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. There’s a lot more to add to this list such as faith, praying together and respect but the five on this list are still pretty important. Check out our conversation:
Nathan: “Trust your partner enough to know that when they say they’re doing something, they’re actually doing it. And other stuff, like you know, trust your partner to go out be with their friends and have their own thing. Get rid of insecurities and try to fully trust in your partner. When you don’t have trust, your mind starts wandering and focusing on the wrong things. When you don’t trust them, you spend more time trying to figure out if they’re doing something wrong more than actually enjoying your time with them”.
Me: “Right. I think you’ve said everything there is to say about that, babe. Without trust you have nothing.
Nathan: “Communicate about everything. You should feel free to discuss anything with your spouse, even embarrassing things. Your spouse should be your best friend. If no one else, you should be able to tell them anything.”
Me: “Transparency in your communication is super important. Your partner should never have to wonder about your whereabouts or your intentions. Those types of things should automatically be communicated to avoid any confusion within the relationship. Communication and trust go hand in hand.”
Nathan: “Always remind your partner of why they fell in love with you. Go on dates on a regular basis and spend time without kids or other distractions if you can.”
Me: “I agree.”
Keep yourself Happy
Nathan: “Don’t rely on your partner to make you happy…that should be extra. You should do things that you enjoy as well as doing things collectively”.
Me: “This is so true. A lot of the times as women, we’ll get upset at our significant other because they aren’t doing everything in the world to make us happy. We can’t rely on our partners for our happiness. Their job is only to contribute to your happiness. When you’re happy individually, your relationship will be too.”
Nathan: “Have fun together. You should be able to have fun doing anything together. Play a game, take a walk, play cards, whatever. Do you whatever you guys can do to connect and enjoy each other’s company. We like to play this monopoly card game and have wine”.
Me: “Yep. Never take life too seriously. You have to take time to laugh with one another.”
Is there anything else that you would add to the list? Also—if you’re thinking of taking the next step in your relationship, take a look at this post on things that you should consider before taking on marriage.